Riding the Wave!

Visiting with a friend the other day, we started talking about things we're afraid of. I used to be scared of everything. I lived in California but never went into the ocean, let alone learn to surf, because I was afraid of what might be in the water. I tried to learn to snow ski but couldn't force myself to just point in a downhill direction and go. Trampolines? Forget it. Tall buildings? Count me out. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18 because I was afraid of the instructor. I made it all the way through college and graduate school without ever taking an entrance exam, (no,the schools weren't very happy when the realized it) for fear I wouldn't do well on the math portion of the test.

And then there were the other, perhaps deeper fears. When I was in high school, the only thing I wanted was to be popular. I wouldn't be myself because I feared people wouldn't like me. Instead, I tried to imitate others. The end result, of course, was that I seemed fake and nobody really knew me.

But as I grow older I find I'm less frightened, not only for my physical safety, but for my emotional safety as well. These days I really don't care all that much what people think of me. I don't know if it comes with age or with simply accepting myself for who I am. Perhaps it was finally running that 5k I always talked about. Could be my small successes at work, as a mom, or as a friend. Whatever it is that's changed me, it's been very liberating. It felt so good to lay all that angst down and just walk away.

So, the next time somebody offers me a balloon ride, I'm going up. Paddleboarding? I'm there. Hiking in bear-infested woods...pause for thought...yeah, give me a loud bell and some bear repellent and I'd even take that on. And if I ever get the chance again, I'm going surfing.Rock on!