Five Important Things to Do Before You Die

I recently spent a week with my extended family at a lake in Minnesota. My adult children were with me, and my daughter surprised me by talking about where we all wanted to be buried when we die. And it got me thinking about what's important when it comes to end-of-life issues. It's what used to be called getting your affairs in order. When you hear that, you probably think of things like wills, deeds, and funeral arrangements. That's your practical preparation. But how do you prepare emotionally and spiritually? After your lawyer and your financial advisor, if you're a person of faith you probably contact a priest or minister, assuming you're able. It's important to get right with God. But what about your friends and family? What do you say to them?

1. You might start with, "I'm sorry." If there are people you've harmed, now's the time to set things right. As it says in Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." But that's not where it should end. Fr. Paul Becker says there are four more things you need to say.

2. "I forgive you," comes right along with expressing remorse. Psychologists will tell you forgiveness is mainly for your benefit because it allows you to let go of bitterness, which in turn helps to free your soul.

3. "I love you," is next on the list. I believe this is easier to say these days than it once was, particularly for men, but it can still come hard. Don't assume that your loved ones know how you feel. There's a famous song by Reba McIntyre that comes to mind here:

         The greatest words I never heard I guess I'll never hear.
         The man I thought could never die has been dead almost a year.
         Oh, he was good at business, but there was business left to do.
         He never said he loved me. Guess he thought I knew.

That's not a mistake you want to make.

4. "Thank you" is next on the list. You may take all of that care you've received over your lifetime for granted, but you should know that it isn't always easy to be there for someone else. For those who are "there" for you, be grateful.

5. And finally, say goodbye. That might be the hardest part, because people are afraid to leave their loved ones behind. My father felt this way and it motivated me to write a book Fear of Death - A Message of Comfort and Hope  to help him and others deal with it.  Give those you love a chance to tell you how much you mean to them and let them know about their place in your heart as well. It's healing for you both, and it's a gift only you can give.


                                                                        ***

Fear not, because God is with you.

-St. Pio of Pietrelcina

Guardian Angels Working Overtime

Todd Telin doesn't ride a motorcycle. He hasn't since his bike slid sideways and sent him shooting down a highway at 80 miles an hour.

"That's how fast I was going when I saw the wheel on an old truck beside me in the right lane start to wobble," he says. As he was considering his options the wheel fell off and rolled into the side of his bike.



"If it had hit the front tire I would have gone end-over-end. If it hit the back I would have rolled. That it hit the side probably saved my life." The motorcycle fell on top of him and he started an 80-mile-an-hour slide.



"I was wearing leathers, but no helmet," he adds, "and while I was sliding I kept thinking, 'Keep your head up, keep your head up." As it was, he slid boots first about 200-feet along the pavement, burning through his shoes, scraping a hole in his foot and taking off most of his small toe. But that was it. The second he stopped, he says he bounced back up.

A friend of his was also on that road, a doctor who saw the wheel, and saw the fall, and thought there was no way Todd had survived. He hit his brakes and drove through the median to turn around and head back to the scene. "By the time he got there I was standing. Adrenalin I suppose," says Todd. He climbed into his buddy's pickup and they headed for the nearest Emergency Room, which happened to be in a small town. There was no doctor there that day.

"Only an intern," says Todd. As they came through the door, a woman in another bed was in cardiac arrest, and the intern was in over his head. "He was scared to death," says Todd. "You could see it on his face." Todd's road rash and foot injuries, while serious, suddenly took a back seat.

"His friend said, 'I'm a doctor, do you need a hand?' and then he jumped in and they saved that woman. So maybe that was the whole point," says Todd.

Both he and the woman lived through it. Even so, Todd says he'll never again climb onto a motorcycle. He doesn't want to push his luck.