Five Important Things to Do Before You Die

I recently spent a week with my extended family at a lake in Minnesota. My adult children were with me, and my daughter surprised me by talking about where we all wanted to be buried when we die. And it got me thinking about what's important when it comes to end-of-life issues. It's what used to be called getting your affairs in order. When you hear that, you probably think of things like wills, deeds, and funeral arrangements. That's your practical preparation. But how do you prepare emotionally and spiritually? After your lawyer and your financial advisor, if you're a person of faith you probably contact a priest or minister, assuming you're able. It's important to get right with God. But what about your friends and family? What do you say to them?

1. You might start with, "I'm sorry." If there are people you've harmed, now's the time to set things right. As it says in Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." But that's not where it should end. Fr. Paul Becker says there are four more things you need to say.

2. "I forgive you," comes right along with expressing remorse. Psychologists will tell you forgiveness is mainly for your benefit because it allows you to let go of bitterness, which in turn helps to free your soul.

3. "I love you," is next on the list. I believe this is easier to say these days than it once was, particularly for men, but it can still come hard. Don't assume that your loved ones know how you feel. There's a famous song by Reba McIntyre that comes to mind here:

         The greatest words I never heard I guess I'll never hear.
         The man I thought could never die has been dead almost a year.
         Oh, he was good at business, but there was business left to do.
         He never said he loved me. Guess he thought I knew.

That's not a mistake you want to make.

4. "Thank you" is next on the list. You may take all of that care you've received over your lifetime for granted, but you should know that it isn't always easy to be there for someone else. For those who are "there" for you, be grateful.

5. And finally, say goodbye. That might be the hardest part, because people are afraid to leave their loved ones behind. My father felt this way and it motivated me to write a book Fear of Death - A Message of Comfort and Hope  to help him and others deal with it.  Give those you love a chance to tell you how much you mean to them and let them know about their place in your heart as well. It's healing for you both, and it's a gift only you can give.


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Fear not, because God is with you.

-St. Pio of Pietrelcina